My Term as President of the United States
Based upon my popular views concerning the investigation of bobblehead doll scandal (nicknamed "Bobblegate" by the press), and my outspoken support of the war against the Cylons, I have been elected President of the United States. It's time to give every chicken a pot or something like that. And most importantly, I get to decide who lives and who dies! I can hardly wait to start some scandals of my own!

All it took was booting up the game Democracy, the best-selling indie game from Cliff Harris of Positech Games. I mean, how hard could it be? I should at least be able to do better than my... ahem... recent predecessors.

Inauguration
I start out with my party (the ... hmmm... we'll call it the Frat Party) in charge of both the House and the Senate. Score! That, and I'm on my "honeymoon period" as the new electee. Time to kick some butt and take some names.

Cool.

The ol' state of the union isn't looking too hot right now. Pollution is rampant, and kids are suffering an asthma epidemic on account of it. The national debt is over 10 TRILLION dollars. The roads are clogged with congested traffic pretty much everywhere. Equality and air quality are extremely low, car usage is at extreme levels (I guess that's bad), and the people are complaining about how cheap imports are ruining the economy. Oh, and tax evasion is high.

On the plus side, unemployment is a low 6%, and the economy is doing pretty well overall.

The commuters and environmentalists despise me - but they represent a small portion of the population, right? Should I worry? The Socialists aren't too fond of me... but I'm not a socialist. Apparently they are 24% of the population, so I should worry. More importantly, the liberals (representing 27% of the population) are furiously opposed to me. Trade Unionists don't like me, either. And good ol' Middle Class America? 41% of the United States are Very Unhappy with me. Strangely, both the wealthy and the poor love me.

Okay. So this will be interesting. In theory, I just have to solve most of the problems in the country without causing more than I solve, and I should win the next election, right?

I guess one way to solve air quality is to get more motorists off the road and into public transportation. The problem with that is that public transportation sucks. I mean, I hate the busses here in Utah. I took the Provo - Salt Lake City "express" bus when I started my career at SingleTrac. "Express" meant they meandered through every little stop between Provo and Salt Lake, turning a 45 minute commute into an over 2 hour commute EACH WAY. At least I got some extra sleep that way, with a newborn at home and everything.

So --- how about I increase the investment in Bus Lanes on roads? That should encourage the use of busses, and make those nasty long commutes shorter, and therefore more acceptable to people who'd otherwise drive. And I'll pay for this with... hmm.... ah! An increase in gas taxes! Which should also make public transportation a more palatable option!

Since the increase in gas tax increased revenue more than the cost in bus lanes, I end up making a tidy profit and reduce the budget deficit. And it will reduce gridlock, reduce pollution, which will also deal with the asthma epidemic, all at once! Hey, am I a friggin' genius or what? This is easy!

Second Quarter
Unfortunately, it takes several months for the new policies to take effect. And the U.S. government is still hemoraging money, in spite of the fact that income grew about $160 billion / month more than costs. To top it all off, there was a sweatshop scandal that rocked my administration, only three months in. I increased the tobacco tax to try and reduce smoking and improve government income. The smokers won't be too fond of me... but I'm early into my campaign, so they'll just have to live with it for four years. I also implement trade tariffs.

Third Quarter
Government income drops, and spending increased. Commuters hate me, and motorists aren't too happy with me either. Car usage has dropped 13%, and my overall popularity has dropped 18%. The fax machine next to the Oval Office has been busy sending out resumes.

Yeah, this is going well.

I implement a new national monorail system. Sure, it'll take nearly a decade for it to complete, but I'm sending a message that I AM HERE TO STAY. I also implement a national minimum wage. Strangely, I guess the U.S. didn't have them until my administration. I correct that and implement the law, to the chagrin of business owners everywhere.

I also implement car emission limits at a national level. Maybe that will put a dent in pollution, huh?

Fourth Quarter
My first year as President is almost done! Things have finally changed with the budget - it is now in "good shape," but it'll take some time to get the debt down to more manageable levels. Still, it is the sweet taste of success, as income skyrockets.

The bus lanes have finally started to pay off, and the commuters are starting to warm up to me. This drivers are even happier, in spite of their more expensive vehicle ownership, because I've finally ended the gridlock situation across the nation.

Unfortunately I'm still dealing with an asthma epidemic, pollution, cheap imports, and tax evasion (which is probably because of the two primary means of taxes - income and corporate tax - are hard to enforce). Don't people realize I inherited all these problems? These things take TIME to fix, durn it!

Year Two
Going into my second year, I'm seeing a decrease in the government debt, but it's still slow. Security is warning of "green" terrorist attacks by the unhappy environmentalists. Didn't they hear about my national monorail system? Grrr.... My approval rate is dissapointing.

I chose a weak welfare "minister" (Should be cabinet member in the U.S., shouldn't it?) My approval rating amongst the poor is great, and the socialists seem to really be warming up to me, too. So I think this move will help appease the capitalists and wealthy. And that also offsets the fact that I've dropped their beloved tax shelters down to more moderate levels.

The pollution level is beginning to drop (as is the Asthma epidemic), though both are still at critical levels. The GDP has all the capitalists and self-employed folk dancing in the streets and singing my praise in spite of my reduction of their tax shelters. I make it up to them by dropping the corporate tax. Things might be bad, but they are improving.

I also lower the national sales tax (since when did the U.S. have a national sales tax, anyway?)

I get a strong budget surplus, the debt begins to fall rapidly, and the concern about cheap imports goes away.

Right before the end of year two, I decide to let a convicted terrorist starve to death rather than give into his hunger strike. I also do a headcount reduction on the CIA. This might appease the liberals a little bit, and it also saves me about $10 billion per month in savings. Why do we need those spies, anyway? We're not in the cold war anymore, right guys?

Year Three
Unfortunately, my dissapointing ratings resulted in my loss of the U.S. House of Representatives, but the Frat Party retained the Senate. This means the House will delay the implementation of all of my policies. Fortunately, my most important policies were already put in place, and many of those are just now starting to get results.

Parents and middle-income Americans have nothing good to say about me. I decide to add a child credit to taxes, to see if that'll get Moms and Dads off my back for letting their children having to use inhalers because they can't breathe outside. Besides, I can't afford a true cut to income tax yet, as I'm still getting the national debt down.

It's not quite enough, but my ratings overall have improved. I'm now having "confident" quarters. The economy is going like gangbusters. Pollution levels continue to drop. Environmentalists are no longer burning me in effigy, but they aren't exactly putting me on their Christmas Card lists, either. Speaking of which, my friends amongst the religious voters seem to be dropping a little bit, too. Since they represent about 44% of the voting public, this is a concern.

The liberals are fanatically opposed to me. The smokers are a little more neutral towards me... but they are diminishing. Smoking is on the decline - I guess it's too expensive of a habit. I figure this is a good thing. Either that, or my ignoring of health care is resulting in all of them dying off with lung cancer. I'm not sure which.

I compromise my principles once more, blocking the merger of two major retail chains into a major mega-store (Hmmm... I wonder if it would have been called "WAL*MART"). This earns me some more allies amongst the self-employed, as they weren't looking forward to the competition. But it really is an artificial restriction to free trade. I wouldn't have done it if the economy wasn't already rocking.

I oppose a book-banning, which drops me off a few more Christmas lists amongst religious America, and it's probably too late to win a popularity contest with the liberals. Ah, well, I'm sticking to my idealist guns for a change, I guess.

Year Four
Unemployment has reached historically low levels. The poor love me. The wealthy are indifferent. The patriots and conservatives celebrate me as the hero of the nation. I increase spending on prisons, which helps everyone. The conservatives and patriots would love me even more if they could go above 100%. Even the liberals are grudgingly giving me a little bit of credit for what I've done with the economy. I drop military spending a little bit, just to keep things going. I want to give everyone a big bonus this year of reduced income tax.

My ratings have climbed to nearly 60% in the polls. With the November election rapidly approaching, I'm already preparing my acceptance speech for my second term.

And Then, Disaster Strikes.
More specifically, terrorists stike. A car bomb goes off in the middle of Washington DC, killing three and wounding a dozen. Apparently my cuts to the CIA a while ago had something other than just political effect.

The patriots and the conservatives, who thought I could walk on water the previous quarter, have almost completely deserted me. My approval rating quickly sinks down into the low teens.

I hope it'll blow over quickly, as the GDP is amazing, pollution is almost down to non-crisis levels, air quality and life expectancy are up, and the country is - by almost all measurable levels - much better now than when I inherited it.

I drop income tax. By a tremendous amount. It'll cost me hundreds of billions, but I've been running at nearly an $800 billion surplus for several months now. Hopefully people will start feeling the additional weight in their wallets just as the elections begin.

The following quarter, some of the antagonism over the terrorist attack does blow over. The patriots and conservatives grudgingly give me back some of my approval, but it's nowhere close to my near 100% level they were giving me before. More like around 25%.

The reduction in income tax hits JUST before the elections. The Middle Class perks up, increasing my approval by 15% just in time for the elections. Is it enough?

Nope. Apparently not. Still blaming me for the terrorist attack, America decides its time for a new President.

I get one more quarter to sit through and see the final results of what I'd built over the last four years. I see parents, liberals, and socialists all increase their approval rating. Just as they boot me out the door.

Hmmm.... I wonder if Germany needs a new President. I've got experience...

--- Former President Rampant Coyote




Think you can do better? Check out the free demo of Democracy at Rampant Games! (And yes, I have done better on subsequent games... assuming I can avoid a terrorist attack in an election year).

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Labels: Game Moments, Politics

- posted by The Rampant Coyote @ 2:49 PM (Permalink)